I know, PA....THETIC! (however, it was the grammy winning song and album of the year - 82 and ranks 15 on Billboard's top 100 - so, there) I can't help my crap taste in music and I simply claim it. I can't do much but be the person I am. Sure, its embarrassing.. but what isn't in this world? Duran Duran Hungry Like the Wolf came on after and I almost cried :)
So my oldest daughter is on the trail tonight with my wife. I dropped them off at Grayson Highlands and they are walking the 20+ miles back to the house. Its quiet here. I think of the lives of my kids all the time and I always wonder if the odd way we live is going to be something they see later as a gift. I do hope so, but I guess how they see their childhood is perhaps not something I can control that much... or worry about much.
Final thought as I go to bed and wish my daughter and wife a great trip - out there somewhere, wonderfully out of touch in this age of constant connection: When we got home from picking berries, E and A and I quick did the chores and then took our bikes across the tree to Creek Junction and found where the sun still hit a bit of water and we went for a swim. When we got back, we fixed up some cheese quesadillas and for dessert, we took a big handful of berries and spread them on our dinner plates and buried them in spray can whipped cream and sat on the couch to watch a movie (with a pause to milk the cow:)
My life is shockingly perfect, but I carry a nostalgia all the time. Like today was great, but now its a memory. I love it and now its gone. Even worse (or better), I am pretty sure that my brain erases yesterdays more completely than most - so perhaps I know that when I fall asleep, its really goodbye to yesterday. The memories fade but the emotion remains.
I know you are out there
somewhere in the dark
I suppose that my dreams of you
are often off the mark
I imagine your existence
in some other universe
And I feel the impossible distance
as a heavy leaden curse