Saturday, December 26, 2015

Christmas Eve

All the classics at the Christmas Eve service tonight.  I'm Lutheran again.  I find a lot of comfort in the liturgy now that I have no guilt disregarding what others say about the eternal.  The playlist was nice and as it should be in a rock church by the creek:

Hark the Herald Angels Sing
Angels We Have Heard On High
Little Town of Bethlehem
O Come All Ye Faithful
Silent Night
Joy to the World

We sang Silent Night with candles lit.  By the time we got to Joy to the World, I had dripped wax in the hymnal.

Christmas was a muddy mess here this year.  The river is as high as I have ever seen, springs have erupted under the main road and have made their way across our drive to our yard.  I diverted them before they got to a rabbit den we have with babies in it.  

(time passes and today becomes yesterday)

Well, I crashed before I could finish.  I was going to wax nostaligic and invoke some reflection for auld lang syne, but alas, I fell asleep and now its Christmas Day.  Perhaps New Year's Eve will drag it out of me, as if its ever hard to do so.

Today was and still is beautiful.  We try to do very little and not get into overbuying for the season and I was worried that perhaps the kids would be disappointed.  However, the day was joyous and full and Zoe thinks it was the best Christmas, ever.  It was rather great.  We are truly blessed and lucky (are those separate things?) - our new wood cook stove arrived 2 days ago and not only did we get it, but Ash and I got it off the truck and onto the new pad I made.  It heats wonderfully and this morning I made the best biscuits ever... at least that was what Ash said.  They might have been.  Its really great to have an oven again.  However, we were also just treasured by those we know.  So many wonderful people who have every excuse to not take us into their heart (like Marie, Mary, and Bonnie) simply have in a huge way.  Perhaps its because everyone thinks we are living in abject poverty:)... or perhaps people are just very giving and loving.  I have a lot to learn still, but I seem to have good teachers.

On other news, I am part of a rather amazing team that is working on a grant to start a high school.  Its a dream that has ebbed and flowed for years now, but now it seems to be in full flood.  I realized years ago that I just don't have the mind and drive to make it happen - it would take others with talents and minds rare, and so I somewhat gave up on the idea because those people tend to have busy lives.  Then the idea landed in my lap unexpectedly when a friend that I have worked with a lot in my classroom the last few years sent me the XQsuperschool grant.  I sent the word out to a list of folks I kept in a folder that I should have labeled: HOPE... and we had our first meeting.  It was liberating.  The minds that showed up that first day and all the days since humble me.  I actually don't have much to offer except as a motivator and a coordinator and as someone who smiles a lot.  The brains and the brawn of the group are not me.  We are going after this school and upon the large chance that we don't get the grant, we are going for it anyway.  After AT2 and what it taught me about its eventual demise, this project is my hope in education.  Appalachian Heritage School.  If things continue to go well, perhaps you will hear about it someday.  I know we have a real chance because I am not so much excited as I am nervous.  Its getting real.

Today Esme and I did a neat hike nearby up to a ridge and then we used her spyglass and my grandfathers' compass to orienteer through the woods back to the car.  It was pretty wonderful.  She beat me in chess later:)  Adia has her piggie and her new doll that she has wanted for EVER.  Its been wonderful to watch her caring soul.  Zoe is entering adolescence in as good a way as anyone can.  I miss her as a kid that wanted to do everything with me as she branches out into her self... but that is how it should be.  She is ... to use the same word yet again... wonderful.

Besides the rain and mud and flooding, it was a pretty great Christmas.  I am pretty tired a lot of the time and I still have trouble sleeping until 5, but I am satisfied with my life.  I hope you all have a happy new year.

Pine needles make odd sounds when sucked up in the vacuum
the flow of yesterday has ebbed
into the mudflats of the day before yesterday's flooding.
My children's laughter is a memory I look forward to
and I feel inertia
as the weight of my full belly 
anchors the abandon 
I ate with you in our yesterday

Our yesterday is always here
and our tomorrow never is.

For me, today is always tomorrow's yesterday.
Yesterday I was excited about tomorrow
But today I am in between