Monday, December 29, 2014

Trying to breathe

Without coughing, that is. It's the rib breaker old man cough often with a little gag thrown in at the end for style. It's never ending nature is endearing, however.  Zoe went back to the doctor today for a rash that developed after strep throat... Which can be a bad sign, but it was just an allergic reaction to antibiotics. The doc said that this virus we all have might actually be the flu this year... Figures.  It brings to mind a line in a song by Sam Baker (first new artist I have listened to in a long long time)... The line is "suffering heals all pain"... From "healing angels" ... But my lung expulsions are not quite the same as what happened to Sam - he was on a bus to Machu Picchu and a bomb exploded in the luggage rack above him - he's got some serious damage and a hell of a story... And he didn't start writing songs until after the explosion. He has traumatic brain injury too and it affects his lyrics and rhythm... Though genius emerges in a simplistic Dylan-esque way.  "Broken Fingers" is about the kid in the seat facing him on that bus, who died along with his parents... Might as well listen to angel hair too, if this post has turned into a plug for Sam Baker.

On the flip side, I put in the water line and wire... In a 100 foot trench dug 2-3 feet deep by shovel.  That was a lot of digging. Thankfully, Ashley helped the other day while I coughed.  The waste line will go in the same trench but I didn't get to that today... Next time. Once that is done, heck the place is livable:). Slowly but surely.  

I thought I would be further along by now... 

The trench ended up waist deep...

Monday, December 22, 2014

The longest night

A nod to the solstice and an acceptance of this sickness that has taken the family (and now me) and has turned so many nights into "the longest night". Also not to be mistaken with one of my favorite Billy Joel songs "the longest time". Back on track - the longest night has passed and light once again makes advances back into our lives. I love this cycle of nature on this planet... Thank you giant planetoid that bashed the early earth to smithereens and rocked us 22.5 degrees off our axis... Te quiero a la Luna.  It's a nice reminder that days get dark, but they brighten again. Even when the world seems to end (metaphorically and physically) the sky eventually clears and we emerge into a new world... Similar to the one we knew, but also fundamentally different...challenges and blessings that occur within our lives sometimes, but often extend beyond lifetimes ... This is what comes to mind when the bright moon shines on the shortest night. Beautiful manifestations and reminders of past cataclysms... The only tragedy being not facing them, appreciating them in the dark and cold... Beauty in all things at all times. Christmas time is here again.

Merry Christmas, y'all.

Are paths that narrow?
Do they have to be so carefully stepped?
Does the past change our path?
Or does it just slow our feet?
Forgive and walk forward. 
Or don't.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

A bad term comes to a close

This school term that is ending must be one of my worst ones in my career.  I just kind of sucked this year and to make it worse, I am not quite sure why.  Wow, this is humbling.  I don't know what to say.  I feel like I should have this thing dialed in and I quite simply don't.  I can't explain it and that is going to wear on my mind for a bit.

Oh well - yet another lesson to learn.  On the positive side, Jose and Luis came by yesterday and we spent 3 hours catching up.  Luis gave me a Drake CD for christmas :)  Those two kids have now become men and I am so proud of them and grateful that they are in my life.  They think that I worked to help them, but I think that it was reciprocal.  If students like that were not in my life, I think I might have to back out of teaching.  Thanks, amigos.

(45 minutes passes)

Leave it to my daughters to roll back that fog... its just Adia and Esme with me here tonight and we cooked a breakfast dinner while dancing to Thriller... and then to the rest of Michael's greatest hits (with one break for Maroon5's "Ladykiller" ... because its Adias favorite song... she's such a funk kid, I love it).  Feeling much better.  Yep, I failed this term.  Next one will be better.  It is what it is, and I am what I am.  Look around, accept the situation, get up, take a step.