Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Insomnia playlist

(To the) Elderly woman behind the counter in a small town:

Hey, Soul Sister -

Do you remember?
Sunday morning
(being) All alone
At the beach(?)

November rain.
Buckets of rain
Welcome me (to this)
Shelter from the storm
(or) Wake me up when September ends.

Just give me a reason
(to) Feel the silence.

Somewhere over the rainbow
I'll take my chances
With or without you.

Mercy.

Universally speaking
(its a) Beautiful life

Don't ask me why
(but) I've loved these days.

Goodnight, my angel.


Fabled Angels

I'm not the hero
I never was
nor a songbird cloaked in black

Fabled angels
in our snowy woods
have never left a track

Now I'm free to feel
the presence...
or absence of myself

I'm free to taste
the highway salt
off the long road back to health

Now in your so-called "freedom"
where I am who I am
the me that we've forgotten 
subsides into the din

And so, in wordless melody
My snowstep presses in...
I fold my wings against my spine
and wink a knowing grin

to the hero that I never was
nor will ever be again.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Adia turns infinity on its head

School is winding down spring has come. Peg gave birth to a new bull calf - who the kids named "Mac".  I am milking again and it's a nice return to what I am comfortable with.  The windows in the house are finished and tomorrow I plan on putting in the front door.  Even though I made the door, we spent $200 on hardware... Amazing.  I can't wait to put that sucker in and open it for the first time.  The door weighs more than I do.


Adia turned 8 the other day.  5-10.  She was so excited about her birthday... Her birthday breakfast was bacon, cheesy eggs, and Belgian waffles.  I finished just in time for lunch.  We went roller skating with our great friends, Jason and Emily... whose daughter Claire was also celebrating  a birthday on the same day (same age too!)  That evening we had a great dinner, opened gifts, ate a homemade cake, and did the worlds slowest rendition of the happy birthday song:)


And as a final update, the 165 lb door I made was put in this weekend as well as the last window.  I love this project


Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Mumbling in my awake

I think in words.  I try not to, but I do. But words can make me feel sometimes. I suppose that is why I like lyrics.  Words set to music are always poetry.  Poems aren't always lyrics I think.  But either way, poem or lyric, the musical nature of it makes the words ... disappear... And I am able to think without words.  Wow, that is irony stepping on the edge of the staircase down to crazy.  But that is the relief of a song... Or a poem.  Below is neither.

"Insomnia, of course"

My thoughts run wild tonight. My brain is tired but sleep is a good friend I haven't seen in awhile and one that I have no expectations of running into anytime soon.  I wonder where you went and what you do in the absence of the day, my friend.  But you are just another loss softly raining down upon me.  All the classics... Youth, innocence, naivety, childhood, friends, strength, my shoulder, fitness....hair....and now you.  I used to fall so easily into your embrace, without a care or a thought, and now I sit up in the dark and marvel at the hollowness of the echo emanating from the hole left in the dim stillness of your departure.  I am lost and tired and I don't know where you are.  I am a child in the woods as the sun sets.  My bright eyes are wide open and reflect nothing.  Not until I give up my life and lay my head on the white pine needles do I feel your presence, but I am gone before you touch my shoulder with your warm hand and whisper "goodnight"