Teaching ... myself

CAT, TEST STRIP, CAT Ah, Halloween... the anti-diabetic holiday:) We actually had quite a beautiful time - Damascus is a wonderful community for our only community holiday. Life is becoming normal again. I talked to David M at the farmer's market today - he's in the club, you know... actually he is the president. What club you ask? The "I'm a diabetic and I have a diabetic kid" club. Its not one that I wanted to be in, but the company is quite enjoyable... good folk in the club. David has 3 type 1 kids. Imagine that. Adia is doing quite well - she is settling into the routine of being a diabetic - doesn't seem to mind the testing and shots are not that bad (she ain't beggin for them though). I was gathering wood with our dear neighbor Homer and I was telling him about Boo and I said that she will never know any different life - which is a blessing (well she might know a different life - we have been told to expect the cure in her lifetime... of course, I h...

Its 1:30am and I could be returning from a full moon hike with my buddy Shane, but it is way too early in the diagnosis to be sacrificing sleep.... which is ironic because here I am awake after I tested Adia (who was 155 - nice) because I am low (51 - not so nice). I've eaten but it will probably take me another hour to fall back asleep... at least tomorrow is friday. Thanks to those who have offered thoughts and support to me and my whole family through this thing. I never realized how helpful it is to hear that someone else cares. Adia is doing really great - we went to the Pediatric Endo on tuesday in Asheville and had a really good visit... however it took 3.5 hours! And that wasn't waiting around - various folk kept coming in to talk to us - CDE's, PA's etc. It was a well run show and we are pretty happy with Dr Artz. They are going to be our team, not just a doctor that tries to tell you what to do. My mom and dad met us there and watched Zoe and Esme... wh...

Well, its almost been a week since Adia's diagnosis... and time has effectively stopped. I remember the sight of the meter when I checked her and it was over 600... then blackout.... I remember the transfer in the ambulance to Johnson City - little Adia strapped into the gurney and asleep at 1am... I only barely remember the hospital stay - day and night blended - the occasional battle with the hospital staff (who were great, its just that a hospital is a terrible place to try to manage diabetes) - then we've been home for a few days I think. Today (and the last few days) I have been struggling with what I hope is fatigue ... I was sitting on the couch today seriously thinking that falling asleep would take too much effort. I was thinking of all the things I don't care about... milking the cow, feeding the chickens, bathing, getting off the couch.... HOWEVER, I am doing a bit better tonight. We went to the park and just being outside had the usual restorative effect. T...

Sunday night we suspected Adia's blood sugar was up, and when the meter read "over 600" a defining point was made in my life. It was like a death. So sudden and so permanent and I so knew what it all meant. I was so sad. I never wanted Ashley to be a diabetic parent. This sounds odd, but I myself never wanted that level of commitment to this disease. Its easy being a diabetic - in the sense that you are the one on the field. It is so difficult being a diabetic parent and I always dreaded it. We fashioned our lives around trying to limit all the possible triggers for this disease (no vaccinations, the whole diet thing - including the cow) and still my tiny, perfect angel of a daughter got it. On the flip side, it has been awful "fun" battling the hospital when it comes to managing a diabetic. I left it in their hands for half a day and I realized that their best effort comes from a textbook. For instance, last night at 3am she was 143 and the hospital fo...