I never knew

Well, its almost been a week since Adia's diagnosis... and time has effectively stopped. I remember the sight of the meter when I checked her and it was over 600... then blackout.... I remember the transfer in the ambulance to Johnson City - little Adia strapped into the gurney and asleep at 1am... I only barely remember the hospital stay - day and night blended - the occasional battle with the hospital staff (who were great, its just that a hospital is a terrible place to try to manage diabetes) - then we've been home for a few days I think. Today (and the last few days) I have been struggling with what I hope is fatigue ... I was sitting on the couch today seriously thinking that falling asleep would take too much effort. I was thinking of all the things I don't care about... milking the cow, feeding the chickens, bathing, getting off the couch....

HOWEVER, I am doing a bit better tonight. We went to the park and just being outside had the usual restorative effect. The kids played like crazy and I even was able to move around a bit. We topped it off by going to the grocery store to get a huge pack of bacon for dinner.

Adia is doing great. Her blood sugar did not go over 200 all day. Most days it is in pretty good control with the occasional spike... she is only 30 lbs which makes it touchy. She gives me all my shots and tests my blood. She doesn't like shots and finger pricks and fights them but it seems that they don't hurt her too much. She has tested her blood on her own and I wouldn't be surprised if she takes a shot on her own soon. It really seems as if its mom and dad who are having difficulty here... Adia is a pro.

I talked to my mom tonight and asked how in the world she did it... how did she and dad handle the diagnosis. she gave me lots of great insights, but the best one was that she said that she doesn't remember the initial anguish much.... Thank God... please let that be me and Ash. Its funny - controlling her blood sugar is not really a worry or anxiety for me - what is killing me is just the fact that she has diabetes. I can't imagine what parents who aren't diabetic (which is most) must go through at this time. I will be soooo much more compassionate with new diabetic parents from this point on. To think I used to say "its really no big deal" Yeah, from the patient's point of view.

Jesse Alswager's JDRF ride in Death Valley was today and amazing Michelle...on this important date for her son.... taped my daughter's diagnosis date (10-10-10) on her bike and dedicated the 10s on the ride to Adia - the 3's were for her son. Amazing. That simple act kept me from falling into full force depression I think. I don't know what plan God has, but I am thankful for the people who are in place in my life.

Well, I'd better go - Zoe is reading a couple of diabetes children's books to Adia and Ashley...

I hope and pray that the ride in Death Valley went well today.

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