Teaching ... myself

Really?? Snow today?  Tonight its supposed to get down to the teens.  In two days I take 40 students to the beach for a week.  Well, I am as ready as I can be - the trip appears ready to roll.  It will be interesting to not be totally in charge with 3 schools going.  I love this trip, but it do take a toll.  Like this spring snow, I am excited to rage against the cold and plunge into a wave and let it carry me to shore.  Like the grass beneath the snow, I am not dead yet:)  Here's a few thoughts penned down this odd morning: Snowflakes float down like memory upon this spring on top o' me drifting swirling upon green grass frost streams streak across the glass all but trees declared our May the false warmth of our yesterday faintly radiates through your ice cold mask its here our souls are put to task I purse my lips exhale my breath spring snow is just a little death

Well, the joists were so easy.... After all that digging and preparing, the floor is going to be such a gentle breeze.  Yesterday was probably the most fun day since putting the trusses up.  I truly enjoy this process. In other news, we leave for the coast trip in a a few days.  Its year 10.  Wow. Time flies.   Good stuff to remember when I read back years from now....Tonight, Ash is at class and the kids and I jumped and just hung out in the trampoline for awhile - then we came back in and watched "Gnomeo & Juliet" all in one bed.  It was like the world was at peace except for the fact that I overestimated our dinner and Adia and I crashed low.  When it was over, Zoe and I washed dishes to music (hence the Lumineer lyric title) while the young ones got ready for bed.  They hopped in, turned off the light and all I had to do was kiss them.    Good. Night.

A quick irony.  This weekend I (with the help of Jon) finally closed in the barn.  It was such a feeling of accomplishment.  The digging is done... finally... and the floor band is in place - I just need to lay down plastic and put in the floor joists and start throwing subfloor down.  But it occurred to me that I was so proud of building walls... sure this represents a sort of protection for my family - structurally, emotionally, and financially... but its still walls.  I consciously build walls.  I used to unconsciously build walls.  The walls I build now separate me from nature... and on 0 degree days, I will be quite grateful for the separation... but the walls I used to build separated me from human nature.  Hopefully my move from metaphysical to physical wall building is some sort of step.  I guess my greatest hope is that by the end of my days on this planet, I will graduate from building walls to building bridges. I was going to leave with a quick lyric, but heck, thi

After a great field trip to ESTU's anatomy lab - I came home and decided to run again.  Adia hopped on her bike and we went on the 3 mile run.  It felt good to sweat again.  I have a whole winter... and fall... and perhaps last summer... and the winter before.... of toxin to work out.  My shoulder is a mess but I think I will try to get back into a mild form of shape again.  Adia found 3 deer skeletons on the way... we stopped to do some forensics.

I try so hard to touch you but my fingers won't reach out the cold that winds around me contributes to your doubt my footsteps fade into the snow I'm hanging from your limb and you whisper that you don't really know what or who I am The dusty hay lays on my lungs my fingers grasp your mane no bit no bridle no control we walk out in the rain uncertainty begins to grow your passion turns to whim you whisper you don't really know just what or who I am So forgive the stranded sailor as he tries to quench his thirst thinks that he is all alone but really he's just first I grasp your oar I pull to row I dream of a sail to trim and you whisper you don't really know what or who I am now I walk upon these gilded streets but I'm dying in my shoes heels inside the gutter as I read the daily news Dull eyes are all I have to show  to that wall in Bethelehem and you whisper that you'll never know wha