The walls are closin' in

A quick irony.  This weekend I (with the help of Jon) finally closed in the barn.  It was such a feeling of accomplishment.  The digging is done... finally... and the floor band is in place - I just need to lay down plastic and put in the floor joists and start throwing subfloor down.  But it occurred to me that I was so proud of building walls... sure this represents a sort of protection for my family - structurally, emotionally, and financially... but its still walls.  I consciously build walls.  I used to unconsciously build walls.  The walls I build now separate me from nature... and on 0 degree days, I will be quite grateful for the separation... but the walls I used to build separated me from human nature.  Hopefully my move from metaphysical to physical wall building is some sort of step.  I guess my greatest hope is that by the end of my days on this planet, I will graduate from building walls to building bridges.



I was going to leave with a quick lyric, but heck, this whole Indigo Girls song fits just right. Billy would agree.

"Hammer And A Nail"

Clearing webs from the hovel
a blistered hand on the handle of a shovel
I've been digging too deep, I always do.
I see my face on the surface
I look a lot like narcissus
A dark abyss of an emptiness
Standing on the edge of a drowning blue.
I look behind my ears for the green
Even my sweat smells clean
Glare off the white hurts my eyes
Gotta get out of bed get a hammer and a nail
Learn how to use my hands, not just my head
I think myself into jail
Now I know a refuge never grows
From a chin in a hand in a thoughtful pose
Gotta tend the earth if you want a rose.
I had a lot of good intentions
Sit around for fifty years and then collect a pension,
Started seeing the road to hell and just where it starts.
But my life is more than a vision
The sweetest part is acting after making a decision
I started seeing the whole as a sum of its parts.
My life is part of the global life
I'd found myself becoming more immobile
When I'd think a little girl in the world can't do anything.
A distant nation my community
A street person my responsibility
If I have a care in the world I have a gift to bring.

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