Midnight thoughts at breakfast
An Alzheimer's brain makes one wonder
About what and who we really are
What I mean is that I consider myself still me
If I lose a finger
Or a leg
Or a my sight
But if I could I would not consider myself me
If my brain dissolved to the point where
I forgot me
or forgot you.
So am I just adaptive?
Am I just something my mind has made up?
Is the me I know just a figment of my imagination?
A deadly weapon for a naked primate?
Would tragedies exist
If no one remembered how to wail and mourn?
That being said, it makes me wonder
What am I?
Do I really exist?
Am I just emotions masquerading as basic need?
Can a human act on something other than emotion?
Is any decision besides when to piss
Or shit
Or what to pull out of the fridge
At 2am
Is any decision besides these
Anything but emotion?
A frontal lobe concoction?
Do I exist?
Do you exist?
Do we exist?
This morning when I slammed my fists into the breakfast table
And stormed out cursing God...
Even then I couldn't help but wonder
Is my broken heart really just
the lucky charms scattered on the breakfast table?
Is my soul
Just spilled milk
dripping. on. your. floor.