Teaching ... myself

Ten-Ten, diagnosis day for Adia.  Its been 3 years now and Adia is doing great.  Quite a blessing - but I shall never, never, never forget that blood sugar reading that night 3 years ago when the weight of the number crushed me... when I knew life would never be the same again.  I even knew at that moment that there would be blessings from it, but it was the knowledge that we had lost the life we knew that flattened me.  But life turned out well, it was just not what I thought it would be. I shall always try to be grateful for this day.

Fall approaches and life changes again.  My daughter is growing up.  I find myself like the season - each day shorter than the next.  Amazing things keep happening like a harvest of the soul, but the sheer abundance makes my head swim.  Gain, loss, change.... wash, rinse, repeat.  I fear and welcome winter.. I am a tree at this time of year no grand oak or frasier fir a buckeye perhaps hidden and interesting and desperate the night overtakes the day time is no longer a friend in the sweltering thinness I smell winter the storms that shaped my branches pruned me and splintered my soul may rage again or may not and so I race against the waning day preparing but not quite ready to face that icy kiss barren and naked In painful eternal repeat I summon my strength to light up the sky again and bask in the chilly glow of a perfect day.

"Summer has gone and passed, the innocent can never last..." -- Green Day Headed to our future.... though the present is pretty sweet Like the seasons, life continues to change, become, and cycle around again.  I am not so much happy for life's changes, I am in a place of trying to appreciate them.  Every change involves a loss and a gain and a move through time... and time just seems to be flying by.  So I am going to try to simply be and appreciate where I am... not looking too far forward or too far back. NOT EASY.  But (to use an odd descriptor)... its good I think. I am getting ready for school to begin again but this time ... for the 7th time... it will be at a new school.  We finally made the decision to follow our dream and move up to Konnarock.  Financially, it was sort of a move that needed to be made - but in making the decision, we were freed from... indecision.  Sounds funny, but indecision is quite an anchor for me.  ...

So... my year of hypocrisy is finally drawing to a close.  The new McGlothlin folks have been chosen and my presentations are done.  I have learned much...and I got to go to Finland.  The overall conclusions I am coming to are kind of subtle and I will try to explain in this trip report. I was rather proud of the trip - it is usually a bit difficult to get into Helsinki schools, but with my good friend, Google Translate, I was able to track down and email many of the schools in Helsinki and play the numbers game.  Many did not respond, but I think the nicest did email back - and I was able to set up an itinerary. I got to the Tri-Cities airport at 3pm on a Saturday and due to a little problem in Atlanta I got to Finland at 2am on Monday.  Luckily I had already booked a hotel.... oh, wait... no I didn't.  However, as luck would have it, I found the last person awake in the airport and got the name of a good cheap hotel near the main station in Helsinki. ...

Happy 41st.... 31 years with diabetes.  I am certainly glad that the hat is covering the bald spot. Other than that, all is pretty much going well. Well the pictures pretty much speak for themselves.  Its been a good start to the new year.  Its been snowy and we've had a lot of snow days... which I totally should have been catching up on school stuff, but I haven't had my mind on school much.  Its been a good family time, a time to return to what matters.  I have been caving with Jason a fair amount and I have really found a new passion.  Surveying caves at a slow, deliberate pace... sometimes in cold water, sometimes in serious discomfort, sometimes in awfully tight spaces, always muddy, sometimes on very slippery slopes, ... is a remarkably peaceful and joyful time.  The heavy stillness underground is just so comforting... when inside the Earth, the "world" just fades into the dark silence.  To make it even more amazing, I get to learn to...

How funny?  I wrote a post last year and never hit publish.  So here is is.  A full year late.  I don't think I was done actually, but here it is.  Parts of it seem like a lifetime ago. Happy New Year! But I want to revisit 2012 before I move on. Around this time last year, Scott M came to help out AT2 ( http://at2.mountainalliance.org/ )and we started up as a real program. It was pretty amazing to actually be becoming what we were heading for... perhaps a theme for the year. However, it wasn't easy - time got pushed to the limit for me and other things began to suffer. I stopped doing much of anything for myself and my family and day to day teaching felt the pinch. Oddly enough I got to be golden teacher boy last year - just as my concept of teaching really began changing - I feel like I am becoming what I am headed for and that is not someone who should win a bunch of traditional teaching awards. Of more significance than all that was that 2012 was the...

Ah, blog... my google therapist.  I am back for our yearly session. My Triabetes mentor, John, called me tonight... its been 5.5 years since we finished ironman together hand in hand.  We both live in different states now, he has twins that are 2.5 yrs old, my own kids have grown from babies to pre-pubescent, Ashley was pregnant with Esme when we last saw each other... When talking about our lives now, its amazing how they have changed.  I didn't even have a chicken at that time... now I am building a scaffold to butcher our steer.  And we both now have a child with diabetes.  John called me because I had texted him to tell him that last night we had our worst diabetes scare with Adia.  She was awfully close to seizing.  That look.  That F...ing look where your child's eyes look right through you to some far beyond that you can't reach and no matter what you say, she can't hear you.  She could still swallow and Ash had honey down her throat...